Monday, December 1, 2014

Bollywood is indeed a reflection of real life

India is a diverse nation. With 28 States and 7 Union Territories, there are people from different cultures, religions who may pose to be one, but in day to day life, their habits, languages, religions, faiths and beliefs do not match. That's what makes them an individual. Compatibility is therefore almost impossible. Off late since most American and European leading names increased business in India by opening BPOs, KPOs etc. it's common to suddenly have a non Indian national as your HR head. Getting along with an American boss an Indian boss and a German boss are all very different. It was once believed that there is a common value where each one in a team or office has to learn and achieve, but with the cultural gaps, it seems a true training on cultural aspects should be given before hiring inexperienced people. An HR person could suddenly be shifted to Sales just like that  and a Sales person could suddenly be asked to move a ladder up overnight.I have also faced stagnancy at offices with no promotions being given. Although I started off my career as an HR intern, by now in 10 years one atleast becomes an HRM if not VP HR of a leading MNC. But alas it seems political contacts are more important than caliber. I have seem HR of various firms making strange and vague contracts yet nothing much is said to them. It is a random industry.

There may be no wages to pay to employees and yet in India movies start with an overwhelming budget of 25 crore rupees and reap profits of 50 crore rupees in weeks. So is the finance minister to blame or the over all chaotic condition of India which does not let people think straight? One wonders where are my cars, property and  office. Not to forget a family of own with kids and a partner of choice which will come only when there is food to eat and a running income coming every month to support oneself and the home.  Or will the rich kids continue to rule and get more? Is marital bliss only for few? The Toyota Ethios G Class and the huge villa and job is probably sold out  even before I get it with the expense going to a royal wedding or some other expense. All this is ofcourse needed not to get a partner but also for myself. Who is responsible for the lack of income distribution within India where some things go all in one hands while others are deprived of it. While some are in abundance the rest are without a wage since years (including me even at present).


"Working in India": Religion


I have personally experienced a situation where 10 people would blindly support one person and not listen at all to the other side of the argument. Sometimes it seemed they were voodooed into it. There are various forms of it in Hinduism, chanting mantras, controlling a mind, hiring experts to perform prayers (poojas) for a group to think and act alike, are just a few. "Raaz 2", the Bollywood movie, showed some reality.
Bollywood is indeed a reflection of real life. There is a positive form of prayer and then there is the negative. I won’t take the name of the MNC but I have experienced extreme disturbance at a work place where my lip color would just stop working. No matter how much of it was applied, the color would not be visible. The same would work perfectly at home. It was obviously scary and made me think that their may be many people who may be against running of a particular office because of bad experience at work/unsupported colleague/maybe a bad relationship at work or false blames and cast out spells (tantric vidya) by experts at the place. I so strongly believed that the place needed some true positive prayers by a saint and not a spell caster to make it positive.

The movie also talks of sister rivalry for wealth and career to such an extent that one usurps the right of another and calls it all her own through use of black magic. Seen in most homes rich or poor this is one would experience, only one member gets all success and all 7 sisters and parents suffer. This one member eats equal to 7 meals, enjoys wealth which is ideally 7 peoples. Shops clothes and bags that are again 7 peoples. And what is worse is that even her/his relationships are with 7 people. Is usually over weight and strange looking. Counselling doesn't work on them. India seen at its destructive worst. India seen at its destructive worst. Must stop.In some cases the parents usurp their daughter's properties, families via wrong techniques or threaten to kill her. Crime is seeing no end and limit. Again this needs to end somewhere.

Religion and culture is something that has caused big conflicts within India since years, and obviously work places are not exempted from this. In an effort to prove some sort of superiority due to race, color, religion, faith, gender conflict certainly remains. It is corroding our system. Being open to different faith and cultures is the need of the hour. When we point a finger at others, we know that four are still pointing towards us.  Rich kids are generally dominating Indian society. One may get away by saying anything or doing anything just because his or her father/mother/uncle or aunt is so and so in the government while the other maybe expelled for no reason. This difference or rather gap in society and at work will yet always remain.

Out of experience at a corporate where a guard whose job is to open the door suddenly came and sat opposite to me at the  dining table with his meal platter in his hand,was extremely offensive to me. Obviously in these cases the corporates have not trained them of etiquette. Maintaining an arm distance physically  specifically from the opposite gender or hiring a corporate hypnotherapist is one way of running a corporate respectable without employee harassment cases on the increase. In the name of oneness the corporate owners can sometimes even go over board in proving that their workers have not gone wrong. The helicopter owners of India are as rash/dangerous/jealous in this country as the lower, poor, uneducated, unfortunates. This trend moves to the families later. While giving a good marital match to one's own daughter they do not even mind  beguiling the neighbours or the daughter's friend into being raped by their driver. Worse when one brother's and father's are coaxed to do wrong to their daughter, son. High times the culprits be caught and victims compensated, not that any punishment for the culprit is ever enough and any  compensation for the victim is ever enough.

In this case ofcourse I got up the very next second. In my entire career I have never joined anyone at a higher position than me for a meal without being invited or sending an invitation incase there is some discussion to be done privately/officially.  And I wondered where this Jungle book culture came from and how I got stuck in it where a security guard dares to sit opposite me. Anything can happen sometimes in India. This event can almost lead to civil war within an office, or family. These small events when taken nationally can lead to civil war in India. Its a form of harrasment that many may not like to face. So something needs to be done about it.


More than experience sometimes what is needed is the ability to cope under pressure, to be patient, maybe even get psychological help, hypnotherapy /mother /cousin or aunt so people do their own tasks well instead of creating an unhealthy environment caused by conflict regarding work, character assassination of peers, family of peers leading to much harm. Its not unusual to take a peer home these days and ask them to cook and clean. Poor people who get caught in this emotionally are never able to come out of the shock. Most random request from a peer could also include a request for a home stay. Which can be more harmful as most people do not realise the long term consequences of their bad behaviour. One thing to understand at all ages is that for hiring, when does not need to go through any of the tests. Requests like come to my place then I will hire you or unneccessary questioning by unconcerned members is not going to earn anyone a job. Consultancies that do not follow up, cannot place people and rather put people in some trouble are spread across India. Unneccesary phones, emails specially from opposite gender have many a times lead me to take police protection. The worst reply from lousy police at times can also be "we only deal with rape and murder". In this case its obvious the police takes their own share  of fun and money from the dominating side and pretty much does not have any ethics and encourage Indians to earn by hook or by crook.

Out of experience I can say that when a contract has to come, it can come via email as well. One need not do any favours to a company HR or another. Serious people get their work done and that too on time!  Atleast this is what I can say for each work experience of mine.  Any claim by a Sharma, Anand, Tyagi or a Gupta or anyone infact to render jobs and carry on with private agenda  in the name of company work is very common in India. Common girl names are Ria, Pia, Swati who phone from various numbers and invite at places, actually seem to belong to some agency providing flesh. Inspite of n number of complaints it becomes difficult to eradicate such people from phoning from different numbers. When these places are raided the phone is often given to male counterparts. There is no permanent stopage which is sadening. One would think marriage may stabalize some youth as dorms are more prone to such activity/wrong business but it seems married couples are more outrageous and ready for adventure of any kind.

"Shopping In India": Culture

While recent years have seen a boom of malls and most international brands in Delhi, shopping may not always be the best experience around town.  Security threats have been on high since mumbai blasts a few years back. Shopping arcades of five stars and malls were not the favorite of elites. These criminal acts happen because the security check is minimal, innocent people go through checks while the criminals tend to escape. Local visits to malls, include bad experience with the security. They hardly use machine and tend to physically touch or rather harass behind the small wooden 3 door shell. The staff is either on cocaine or lack training. One had to pass a wooden gate which beeps when it senses metal. Usually it is good enough to detect threat internationally. I have never seen such security where someone touches you up and down your body. No doubt about it India looses on big business.

Recently enough a security (or should I say druck prostitute in uniform) at Saket MGF Mall stopped me for a check. When I asked her where is her scanner. She said she does not have one. So before I would know she put her hands right on me. Private parts are these ladies favorite. Then they laugh with the male security and let you in. I could never see the humor but I did wish I could slap her. The problem is if we hit physically it is seen as abuse, and we have to compensate yet when the lower class extorts us we have to stay hidden at home out of embarrasement for days as no one says anything to them. If one was do spend a day in India at the end of each day one would perhaps need a police inspector to stop all this crime, so one has to write a daily report.Be it at a five star Taj in Delhi or a local vishal mart (VM) store in Tilak Nagar.

Try a lingerie shopping hour at VM and there is always a male at the entrace whose interest lies only in the Lingerie. He makes sure to take out each garment and laugh after billing. There is no lady (who are equally bad), no other item in the shopping bag is taken out. I really want some decency at such gates as there is more than enough security at the gate automatically in the form of buzzers if there is an unbilled item and this human to make fun of us is not needed. Perhaps India could be a place to breath freely then.

No one even likes to enter malls. I hate them. Each store inside has bar sensors so there are no thefts yet the security staff would often scream, "Madam, bag." This means they will put their hands inside your stuff, bags, spread some viruses as surely by now they have put it inside many people's bags without washing their hands not to mention their own personal habits  (food etc) and standards. They could touch anything, your makeup and ask "what is this?" Or your bag of money, there is no way to get rid of this trouble. Who wants the virus inside their bag? I do not. How about using the machine while the bag remains closed if their main entrance sensor is not satisfactory? Another problem that may arise (especially at cinemas, discotheques), is when this staff themselves may let out the information about your big bag of money to some thieves. Welcome to the third world and the city of crime. Some vague men/women may follow you and look for the best opportunity to steal your mobile and cash bags/cards, not to forget the recently bought diamond ring. What ever happened to the shopping inside the stores. Its all spoilt.

More often then not what has often happened to me is that the items bought turn out to be less. Either after billing the billing staff takes them out themselves sneakingly or the guards at the entrance of the store do it at exit with the excuse of checking the items. Ideally unless the buzzer rings, no one should be allowed to look into the shopping bags at exit. Most notorious are the chain of lifestyle stores. The guards at entrance and exit  tend to stop people and disturb instead of standing straight. When we shop and give money at a store it should feel good not that we are paying some debt. Often the indoor staff can mob a person or break the recently bought vases and you realise this once you unpack after reaching home. Its better these people be given gummy bags to take their frustration out on and not real people.

Also main point remains that who ever has to steal has already stolen, while this lazy staff is checking out my bag and I am sure some other ladies', and wasting time, much harm is being caused to us educated lot not to  forget to the Indian Economy. Because no one wants to come there again, I surely do not!


Finally one feels that the shopping experience or the evening out with family or friends is totally destroyed. The entire point of wanting some peace is not there anymore. You don't really go out for a party to find a lady coming out of a corner and running her eyes down your body and putting a torch inside your bag to see whats in it...that too when its not being done to everyone. Suddenly one feels targetted. This is all very common at eateries Capitol - Ashok in Delhi not just shopping joints.

During several years in Europe one knows for sure that this is not the way to stop crime but to find a way to touch others and end their own frustration. Not that we have not shopped at swarovski or zara abroad. No such habit exists in Europe. I wonder why in India? And how can this be changed? No matter what amount is spent on healthcare, the situation in India does not improve. Why do we as shoppers have to tell the staff to use the machine, are they too intimidated by us? Or their male counterparts at the security check? Who here is working then and what are the wages for? Is it for spreading disease? Out of 5000 people who enter the mall, 500 are stopped. Obviously this so called security staff is touching them all..causing flu...colds...and  other commonly spread diseases to travel from person to person. Well I surely believe I need security to save myself from such security and stop bringing disease to myself.

It seems it is a deliberate move to trouble shoppers perhaps. The detector provided is usually effective from 1" to 2" away from the body and it need not be touched to the body or clothing or bag if used properly and attentively. Otherwise even wooden gate detectors without this human staff for harrasment is  good. In any case these people are inefficient, frustrated and bothersome.Anyone who reads this blog, especially foreigners now know that they can remind the security to use their hand detectors and not their hands to run down yourself in the name of "security check." At first you may let it just pass by as another securtiy  measure by the Indian govement but I tell you, these are not the guidelines. Once you get some skin disease and your doctor analyses it all, you will realise  how expensive this one trip to an Indian mall has been.

What about the mall owners? Do they take the time out to talk to their staff? And teach them what to do? It seems not. Each morning one can always make a speech of dos and don'ts to their staff no matter where one is via phone (conference over phone) or visit. Because the problems are surely not sorted at the managerial level.

The local markets here one would then think is much better. With a road in the middle and shops on both sides maybe a solution. I tried this way to get my winter clothing all done. Alas there is not a day when a road side sick and poor looking person or an uneducated staff of some store would not pass a dirty gesture, bump into me physically and run or do some disturbing and animal like activity. So shopping in Delhi is surely not the best experience. Perhaps those born and brought up in India do not face this problem. One wonders why I do. I also wonder what the foreign especially white community members face in India.

Worse situation would be when you finally enter a store and in no time get surrounded by male workers asking what I want. If a shopper could just look around and take whatever he or she likes instead of being surounded it would be great. Its even noticed that some male workers just bother female shoppers and harrass the females working at the store to come forward for billing themselves. Perhaps girl stuff interests the Indian boys. Instead of making shopping an experience it all becomes one big mess. No girl in this world wants to be chased by a group of only men, who god knows why, do not mind their own business. Because when we go to a store we know what we want and if we do not we do know how to ask for help. So the staff (male, female or whatever) needs to speak when spoken to.

Never meet a house wife while shopping.The only thought in her mind is to find a culprit on why her hubby doesn`t pay attention to her. You may be her next victim. She may make all kinds of claims that you have an affair with her husband. This is what early marriages did to the women's mind. Pitty her and let it pass. The next one may even be your college friend who was once normal and did not have illusions back then but now she may not be normal.

The married man who was once your frined may have turned into a booker. Next thing one knows is he invites you for a dinner or interview or for a chit chat and you find another person instead of him holding you at gunpoint..molests you throws you home. So in other words your best friend from college  has turned into a pimp always looking for young innocent people (women, girls) to sell. Provides young girls to rich useless men. What do they do with the money? His wife and kids enjoy with it or atleast try. They earn bad karma and are abnormal... beyond counselling often very sick ..some seious illness surrounds them, face serious issues otherwise as well. Not that anything the wife shops with this money reaps good results. The kids at school are often unsuccessful not just cannot make it after school. Are usually outgoing. Before someone blames them of anything they scream wolf. May start to send out sms, make phone calls to innocent people and talk rubbish. These are fits. Their parents if alive in some cases do not stop them, in other cases cannot stop them. So no gauravs, karans, akash, tom, dick and harys.These minds need a hobby. Not chasing me and you.

So how much can someone wish that we are genuinely not interested in this husband or wife. These husband wife as per psychologists have suffered harrasement within the family. Most blood relatives do not realise that sleeping around with eachother scientifically causes disease. But they do it. Diseases like blood cancers, virals are all a result. My message is live and let live. And please mind the rest.

Random bald men seem to be the city's favourite. If someone could tell them to stay away it would be perfect. Some spiritualists explain they are sinners. In my entire journalistic career I have also seens cases of mad women/young girls. They may be rich or poor but no medical tratement works on their body or mind. They behave in a strange manner, look very fat usually and cannot loose weight. Doctors may prescribe them pills but they do not work on their mind. A case of bad karma and birth.

Another new phenomena I noticed is each time I shop it seems am being charged double. Clearly enough to find out that someone or the other is following me.They take same of similar item for free after I have paid double. So am actually paying for some official's daughter's clothing...what am I getting in return? I am not a multi millionare and did not volunteer to sponsor anyone at the moment. 

"Working in India": People

In the beginning most people may appear friendly. And it is of course only until a week has passed that one finds out the reality. Then starts competition instead of cooperation mostly for no particular reason. Harmony is definitely destroyed sometimes by an interfering parent/sibling/relative/someone posing to be  a friend who doesn’t like your independence or the fact that suddenly you are rich and may reach out to your colleagues or management in the form of letters or phones.  The conversation may range from calling their own family member unworthy, assassinating her or his character, proving them as unqualified etc. etc. hence the request is to terminate her/him. It may have been that your new friends or the sudden reason for your smile is not liked by your family. You try to pamper them, but they do not accept it, somehow they want to let you down and then have an upper hand on your life. Which I think should not be entertained. My way of life says make the jealous more jealous without finding a guinea pig because there is none! We all are in this world for a reason, some have found it and some are yet to find it. Find your reason and live your life.

Worse enough when it is vice versa. It is common for a trainer or employer to phone parents these days. That’s when you know that it is all against you and its time to leave. As adults we expect an open talk, unless of course this so called trainer or boss wants some kind of physical favor, is asking you out to the local bar alone and is blackmailing your family into it. Or rather convincing them by paying them if they are poor. In a way it’s a soft form of human trafficking! Give me your child by the night at my home and you get 50,000 rupees extra! So the daughter becomes a good source of income for the poor parents suddenly.

An anti harassment training may consist of some quick dos and don’ts but they are hardly followed. The most innocent usually has to suffer. This typically anti harassment trainer, a Sally or Kelly may herself be a total molester and may get you terminated if you try and ask for help from a screaming team member or a local group of boys trying to verbally or physically abuse you. So, one has to be really careful. Sometimes, I wished we could choose who leads or those who lead could be checked by the narcotics department of the state.

Lately I observed two girls who turned out to be two prostitutes at a recent work place. Young men at work easily fall for them, want a relationship with them because they dream of a wedding. Alas one day they find out they have been dumped for someone richer and finer by such females. First I made complaints that the two girls be removed, as I saw them doing things that are not to be done in office then I realised it was a delibarate move by the employers...its cheap sleazy entertainment. An aarti, preeti, neha, reema, mansi, sumeet, Isha or shikha...that you  meet next might not as well be friendship material but objects whom you would not want to bring to a home as a friend.  So, it was better to be sane and leave such a work place myself if the effect of such people was too bad as such girls probably bring in more business to BPOs and business owners.

If at all you are hired at a workplace where your job requires your to commute via Delhi metro, one observes the lady constables here at the ticket wicket are from poor cities and are into the same habit as mall security. Laying hands and not the machine just where not to. This I am saying out of personal experience. Rest of the day I guess they do nothing.

People who do not wash their hands before they eat at their work table to people who are so conscious of their health that they don’t use the office cafeteria (due to hygienic reasons) unless forced or pleaded, from silent to screamers, from ever tired to always energetic, from gossip mongers to silent killers there are all kinds of people, you will find them all under the same roof still working and working...! But India needs training.